Social Media and Your Relationship Health

Fatai Ayeloja
5 min readMar 16, 2022

What I have noticed is that many people don’t understand how the algorithm on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram or Tiktok works.

Social media can be a powerful force for good, when used correctly (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Social media can be a powerful force for good when used correctly (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

The cycle goes like this:

  • The feeds get on your timeline.
  • You decide whether to read the content or keep scrolling.
  • Then tap on the content to read or watch the video.
  • Then your brain consumes this content and starts processing it.
  • The consumed content alter your emotions or feelings (positively or negatively).

When their brain began to react to the content consumed;

  • You are either sad, happy or indifferent.
  • You then click on the button: like or dislike or you even comment on the post. This feedback (like or dislike or comment) is usually a result of what feelings or emotions this content had created in your mind or body system.

All these actions of yours; the activities you perform online on a day to day basis are monitored by an AI (Artificial Intelligence program or robot) most people refer to as an algorithm.

What this bad or good boy does is to keep a record of all the actions you have performed in the course of using the social media app. Your likes, time spent on watching a video, your comment, the type of person you follow, the kind of reaction you gave to certain content etc., the algorithm uses all the data gotten from this your interactions on the social media — Facebook or Instagram or TikTok etc to determine what type of content to send to you next. The cycle goes on and on this way, year in year out.

So, the result of this is that the more you read and like or not like a particular type of content from your feeds (timeline), the more the AI algorithm brings more or that kind of content to you. For example: If you have the habit of watching or reading jokes, the AI algorithm sets you up with more funny content; If you like reading sad news or content about bad relationships from all those Facebook groups, you will never get good news on your feeds (timeline). You will only be served with crazy, sad or terrifying posts.


So someone who goes to Facebook and focuses on reading content about broken marriage and relationships. The more they read and like these contents, the more the algorithm brings more sad stories till their mindsets shift and they start believing that great marriages or relationships do not exist.

They will go home and transfer the bad emotion they got from the consumption, reading or watching such content. The negative energy and anger generated by feeling empathetic for the victim of the stories they had just read. They will begin treating their partner or spouses as though they were the ones who had committed the crime they had just read. They will start asking irrelevant questions in their mind, second-guessing or suspecting their partner. Before they realize they had self-sabotaged their beautiful but imperfect relationship and everybody would have pathed was; they get divorced.

This is also the reason that a child must have come of age of good mental state and understanding before they are allowed to use smartphones. Plus their content feeds needs to be censored. So that their lives do not get messed up. Because most times kids or even adults at times, find it hard to distinguish between social media lives and the real world. They subconsciously accept everything they see is the truth. Meanwhile, this is not the case. People post things just to get followership or entertain or maintain the attention they get from their audience.

This can lead Children into depression when they watch content that portrays a perfect life, where you get everything at the snap of fingers to your parents or their boyfriends. So when the lifestyle in real life doesn’t fit into the contents they consume online. They start feeling like they have it all bad 😔, they become unhappy 😭 or become defiant in the home or starts stealing or bullying at school or faking it to match up with the trends online.


We need to and must be intentional about the type of content we consume online. Because the type of content that you consume have major effects on you; (positive or negative). It alters your emotions and mental health, changes your perception about life, the choice of words you communicate with, how motivated you are, and could lead some to into being depressed.

First, you should always audit your content feeds periodically; by asking yourself questions like:

  • Why am I following this page?
  • What impact does this content have on my emotions and mental health?
  • Does the content from this page makes me happy 😊 or sad 😭 person?
  • Do I learn good things by following this person?
  • Or the only reason I follow this person is to watch shaking bums.
  • Do I get educated or enlightened on this page?
  • Is this page getting me close to heaven or distracting my heavenly goals?
  • Is it only sad news I get from this page? Is it on sexual pressure I get from it?
  • Do I get financial literacy from here etc?

The next step is to start unfollowing pages that do not add positive energy or value to you. If you find that I am not getting positive energy from following this page, I unfollow immediately.

Doing these things helps to restore your mental health more than you can imagine. Be cautious of what content you consume online, it could very dangerous to you and your family.

We are what we consume, either offline or online.

Stay safe, be peaceful and be graceful✌️